Over the last few years I have had the opportunity to visit hundreds of schools. A frequent theme that the teachers have shared is that many young people today lack resilience. Too easily they give up when faced with a bit of hardship or a setback.
It is probably not limited to the young!
In my role as Vice Chair of the British Olympic Association I got to know a really lovely guy named Henry Odili-Nwume. For some time he was the number three man on our Team GB Bobsleigh team and became the winter sports athlete representative on the BOA.
He was also an army medical doctor working at Hadley Court, where many young men and women come to, on their return from the war zones, having lost arms and/or legs. Several will have come on to Tedworth House in Tidworth.
Henry became interested in the US research into trauma patients. The US has tens of thousands of these wounded service men and women and wanted to know why many went into long term depression, alcoholism and homelessness, whereas others looked at themselves and would say, ‘Well I’m still alive, what could I do with my life?’
In their findings they identified three factors – 1: a positive mental attitude. 2: family support. And 3: a spiritual or moral compass.
I thanked Henry for the findings, which he had brought back from his Churchill Fellowship research trip. And Henry reminded me that physical fitness would have been a major part of these young servicemen and women’s lives.
So in addition to the three areas just listed, I believe that you have to have a certain level of health and strength in order to think and act positively. If you have ever had flu or anything similar, it is almost impossible to deal with paperwork that may be lying beside your bed.
This means that a holistic approach is essential to help people move forward from serious setbacks, trauma or tragedy, whether young or old.
To assist any person who has been knocked back – after the necessary time to deal with resentment (why me?), anger, disappointment and, sometimes, deep depression – a holistic approach to personal questions is required.
1. Physically – What do you need to do to give you the health and strength to make clear positive decisions?
2. Mentally – What are small positive goals on which you can take your first steps? When will you action these?
3. Socially – If you don’t have family support, where will you find support? Who might assist you?
4. Spiritually – Where might you make a contribution, in a way that will give you a sense of meaning and purpose?
The research implies that it is essential to cover all areas when lifting yourself up from a serious situation.
These questions look simple, however they will require considerable thought and probably a valued supporter to help draw out the person’s answers and action steps, in each area.
If you are willing to assist in being a supporter it will require patience and the gift of listening closely to the person whom you are aiming to help. Ultimately it is up to the individual to become aware that they need to take action and are willing to take personal responsibility.
