There were two big revelations in Rupert Everett’s talk about his collection of short stories ‘The American No’ at Marlborough LitFest on Saturday. Firstly the tea room he writes about in ‘Sort Me Out Before You Go-Go’ is Marlborough’s very own Polly Tea Rooms. Secondly he’s tempted to start a rival political party called The Wigs to oust Reform from Wiltshire since Danny Kruger decamped from the Tories. Oh and maybe there’s a third – he wishes he’d got the role of Dumbledore in HBO’s new adaptation of Harry Potter.
In a hugely engaging event to a packed Memorial Hall, Everett was on candid form in his chat with Alex Clark. ‘The Best Friend’s Wedding’ actor lives locally and has driven past the venue many times but commented as he walked on stage about how the boarding schools he went to (from the age of seven) weren’t heated as well as Marlborough College – more frugal and ‘fight for survival’.
His book is a re-worked collection of ideas for films and TV shows that he took to Hollywood but got ‘the American no’ – and he didn’t want to waste them. Some are autobiographical – see ‘Cuddles and Associates’ about an actor’s struggle to make it (of which he talked at length) and also ‘The Wrong Box’ about attending a funeral on acid (apparently true). Sebastian Melmoth: The Morning After The Night Before’ is about the last days of Oscar Wilde who he described as a Christ-like figure to him: God-like in his genius but also a ‘Silly fairy snob’.
Which brings us to ‘Sort Me Out Before You Go-Go,’ set in a market town with a private school and a glamorous divorcee who gets propositioned in a tea room by a young brazen Heathcliff of a man. It’s all true (mainly) and based on a friend of Rupert’s who would go to Polly’s while her son was playing rugby at Marlborough College – and when she finally decided to take the man up on his offer, he announced it would cost her £150! Rupert revealed he had a two-year search to find said young man as he was so impressed with his clever tactics and thought it a shame (tongue in cheek) the proprietor of Polly’s has insisted she’s not a ‘Madame’. He is evidently a fan of the establishment’s beans on toast and boiled eggs.
As a local and definitely not of the Reform political persuasion, Rupert is as miffed as many that there won’t be a by-election with Kruger switching sides. He believes we should go back to parliamentary sovereignty and joked it would be an ideal opportunity to launch The Whig Party again but this time spelt Wig. In reality, he admitted he could never be a politician because he was useless in the debating society.
Rupert spoke with great warmth about his big movie hits such as ‘My Best Friend’s Wedding’, ‘Another Country’ and ‘Dance With A Stranger.’ About being gay in a heterosexual industry and the pros and cons of how that industry has changed since he started out in the 1980s. How he’d loved to have been in Conclave (and swish around in those outfits) and Slow Horses (with a request to put it out to the universe) – and lamented hard that the role of Dumbledore went to John Lithgow. With the character being gay, he thought it was made for him.
So as writing clearly comes so naturally to him, does Rupert prefer it to acting? ‘I keep buggering on with both of them,’ he smiled. ‘But when the phone doesn’t ring, that’s when the writing is great!’ Which is fine by us if it means Marlborough is treated to more entertaining evenings with him at the LitFest.
‘The American No’ by Rupert Everett – published by Abacus
LitFest ’25: Clare Chambers – ‘Shy Creatures’
